


Styx

by RosesJosaeline



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-03
Updated: 2020-10-03
Packaged: 2021-03-07 22:02:09
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,341
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26784850
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RosesJosaeline/pseuds/RosesJosaeline
Summary: Iwaizumi Hajime doesn't know how long he can keep this mask up. This mask that's hiding all of his inner pain and unrequited love inside. He wants to revisit the Cherry Blossom tree, where he and Tooru Oikawa once made a promise a long time ago. Can he manage to tell him he likes him before it's too late?
Relationships: Iwaizumi Hajime/Oikawa Tooru
Comments: 1
Kudos: 26





	Styx

Styx: The river used to swear promises on

  
  


When the spring blossoms bloomed, he shouldn’t have thought of him. It was instinctual, but that’s what made him more disgusted. He remembered when they were young and gleeful. They had made a promise on a day like this, with cherry blossom petals in their hair. On that day, Iwaizumi knew that he was in love with Oikawa. On that day, Iwaizumi knew he wanted to spend his entire life with Oikawa, just the two of them.

On that day, Iwaizumi knew deep inside his heart that their love wasn’t made to last.

~

_When I close my eyes, I see those caramel eyes_

_And days that have long gone by._

_Oh, how I miss those sweetened times_

_With those deep blue skies._

_I long to see the bloomed flowers_

_That I know I can’t see again._

_I miss that longing voice_

_It calls for me with a sweet sorrow._

_Goodbye, lover mine._

~

The poem leaves the group in a thick silence, all of them not being able to look Iwaizumi in the eyes after such an intimate feeling. He blushes, the heat spreading to the tips of his ears and down to his neck.

“That was.. An intriguing poem, Iwaizumi.” Mei says slowly, and claps. After a few seconds, everybody joins in at different times.

“Thanks,” Iwaizumi mumbles as he sat down on one of the chairs. The chairs are gathered in a circle, facing inwards. Iwaizumi had chosen to be in the poetry club because he needed an after-university credit. Believe him - it was either this, or him learning how to style and knot rope. Tough choice.

He didn’t mind the poetry club, even if it wasn’t necessarily the group he would’ve hung out with in high school. They were all wayward souls in a way, and reading and writing poetry together helped them find a sense of purpose. Mei, the president of the club, was a first year student, like Iwaizumi. There were rumors that she had become president as soon as the Dean had heard one of her poems. Every month, a supervisor would check in to see if everything was going alright. Iwaizumi had no doubt that Mei was better than some of the professors that taught here.

“I really enjoyed your poem! Do you mind telling us what it’s about?” Mei probed deeper, elbows on her legs. Iwaizumi scowled inwardly; he hated this part. She asked everybody what their poems were about, and it reminded him of his English teacher in high-school. Sometimes, a poem was just a poem. But, that wasn’t it in this case.

“Uh, I didn’t really have an idea in mind when I created it.” That was a lie. He knew exactly what he was thinking of when he made it, down to the caramel eyes.

“Well, idea or not, it was a very nice poem.” Mei smiled at him, and he returned it with a weak grin. “Everybody, please write another poem for next week’s meeting about a strong emotion. We’ll share and discuss, per usual. Dismissed!” Everybody gathered their belongings, shuffled out of their seats, and prepared to go to their dorms or their next classes. Iwaizumi got up from his seat and got ready to head to his dorm. His comp sci teacher assigned them so much homework that he felt like he was drowing in it.

“Iwa, wait up!” Iwaizumi scowled at the nickname, and waited for Mei to catch up.

  
“Please don’t call me that,” Iwaizumi muttered. He didn’t want to hear that nickname ever again. He banished it deep in his heart before, and hearing it just brought it out again. It was too painful.

“Aw, I can’t?” Mei pretended to frown, as she shoulder-bumped him. “Fine, fine. I’ll respect your wishes for now. Anyways, that was a neat poem you wrote!”

“Thanks, but it wasn’t anything special.” Iwaizumi shrugged, as he and Mei walked out of the building. The sun glared in his eyes, as if to say it knew he was lying. He shielded his eyes from the sun, and continued walking.

“I’m serious! It was really good, it was just that all of us were a little bit shocked that someone like you wrote such a deep poem. You usually write haikus about those movies you watch.” She giggled as Iwaizumi blushed again. “I need a favor, Iwaizumi.” She paused, and Iwaizumi looked at her. 

“Sure, anything.” Iwaizumi smiled, desperate to change the subject. “Were you just complimenting me to ask me a favor?”

“No, of course not. I was being genuine, swear. Anyways, I know you used to play volleyball in high-school, and-” 

“Sorry, but if this requires me to play volleyball, I refuse.” Iwaizumi’s smile reverted back to the hard line of his mouth. Volleyball was in the past and one of the many things he didn’t bring to university. 

“No, nothing like that!” Mei quickly shook her hands and head. “You know Saburo-san, right? He’s in our Comp Sci class? He’s an outside hitter for our university. He’s having a practice match with another university, and that idiot made a bet with someone on the opposite team. He bet that at least seven people would come and watch him play. Can you believe the nerve of him? Regardless, we need one more person to pull the bet off, since Miki can’t make it.”

“So you need me to come to the match?” Iwaizumi said, before Mei quickly interjected. 

“That would be amazing! And, don’t worry, I’ll be giving you a reward for coming.” Mei swung her bag over her shoulder, and rummaged through one of the pockets. “Ta-da! Two tickets to Godzilla: King of the Monsters! Latest film.” She swung it in front of his face, and Iwaizumi couldn’t resist it. He had wanted to go to watch it as soon as it came out, but he had gotten preoccupied with homework and his part-time job. 

“Deal,” Iwaizumi grabbed the tickets, and put it in his pocket. “Where’s the match?”

“At Gym C right in our sweet old university tonight, 7. All you have to do is show up, stay until the practice match is halfway over, and then you can do whatever you want. You don’t even have to pay attention to the game if you don’t want to. Well, thank you so much, Iwaizumi-kun! Gotta go. My boyfriend will be pissed if I’m late to our date again. See ya!” With that, Mei darted off and Iwaizumi stood there. Their conversation had lasted around four minutes, yet Iwaizumi felt drained. Mei did that to any person. Iwaizumi was in one of her boyfriend’s classes, and he frequently said that he thinks Mei is always high on something. They’re in love.

“ _Oh well,”_ Iwaizumi thought. _“I already told her I would go. And it’s not like I’ll be playing, I’ll just watch._ ” What’s the worst that could happen?

In a few hours, Iwaizumi will wish he had never talked to Mei in the first place.

~

Iwaizumi arrived at Gym C, and made his way up to the sidelines. Sure enough, in front of him were six other people, presumably there to watch Saburo. He took a seat in the back, and waited. In front of him, his university’s team were doing stretches, and warming up. Saburo looked up at the bleachers and winked at them. 

Iwaizumi had never been to Gym C before, seeing as he always alternated between Gym A and Gym D to workout. Gym C reminded him of Karasuno’s gym, just bigger. Well, Mei wasn’t bribing him to pay attention to the game, as she had said. He might as well do his homework while he waits.

As soon as he put his pencil to his paper, the gym doors to his right opened. Iwaizumi quickly put his homework away, and waited in anticipation. He had always loved watching the start of volleyball matches. The tension in the air while the other team walked in was always irresistible.

When he saw the captain of the other team, he knew he had made a grave mistake. He should’ve asked Mei what team they were going up against. 

As the team members shuffled into the gym, he saw him. The face of his nightmares and daydreams. The person he had so desperately been trying to forget about.

That cocky smile. The sauntering walk. That stupid, stupid smirk. Iwaizumi wanted to run, run, run away from this gym and hide in his dorm. 

“Iwaizumi?” The girl far to his right whispered to him, concerned. “You’re looking a little pale. You good?”

“Yeah, I’m fine. Thanks.” Iwaizumi whispered back, but it wasn’t a voluntary whisper. He didn’t think he could speak in his full voice even if he wanted to.

Walking away would cause more attention to him. His best option was to lay low, and hope that he wouldn’t look up. Iwaizumi slumped against the back wall and hoped that his black hoodie blended in with the shadows around him.

“Isamu, thanks for coming.” Kaito, Iwaizumi’s university’s team captain, shook hands with him.

“No problem, Kaito. We were all itching for a rematch after last year’s match.” Isamu laughed heartily, and motioned for his team to start warming up.

“I see you have some new people.” Iwaizumi heard Kaito say, and Isamu grinned.

“Yo, first year boys, come over here and introduce yourselves.” Isamu called, and four people walked over.

The first three names Iwaizumi didn’t pay much attention to. The last one he did.

“Oikawa, sir.” He shook hands with Kaito, and Iwaizumi shivered after hearing his name. He hadn’t heard it out loud for a long time. “I’m becoming the setter for the team.”

Iwaizumi looked at him, not focused on the current discussion. When did they become so distant? When did looking at Oikawa repulse him more than attract him? No, he was lying. He could never be repulsed by Oikawa, no matter what he did. 

Oikawa still had that smug smile on his face, not that Kaito would realize. For all Kaito knew, that smile was being orchestrated by the heavenly angels above. That smug and beautiful smile. What a bastard Tooru Oikawa was.

“Iwaizumi, are you really okay?” The girl to his far right repeated.

“I’m okay.” Iwaizumi forced himself to smile. “Just feeling a little.. Nauseous.” Iwaizumi took a deep breath, and looked at his team warming up. He refused to even glance at Oikawa. He knew if he did, all self-control he inhabited would vanish, like an ice cube on a hot summer day. 

Needless to say, the practice match went on. Iwaizumi watched every serve, every block, every spike the team had. He still didn’t look at Oikawa, even though he was practically in every match. Besides, Iwaizumi didn’t have to look at Oikawa to see what he looked like. He had stared at Oikawa in high-school at every match. He knew him too well, and vice versa. Luckily, Oikawa hadn’t noticed Iwaizumi so far. At least he had that going.

Currently, it was set five, with the other university winning three. Ryo, one of the outside hitters on the opponent team, got ready to do a jump serve. He threw the ball in the air, and got ready to hit it. In midair, from Iwaizumi’s angle, he could see that his fingers slipped on the volleyball, and the ball zoomed in the air, aiming directly at the same girl to Iwaizumi’s right.

God damn it.

In an act of desperation, Iwaizumi flung himself out of his seat, and managed to tackle the girl out of her seat. He and the girl crashed on the concrete floor, luckily not near anyone, and Iwaizumi could hear the loud pound of the ball hitting the wall. If that had hit her.. well, it wouldn’t have been a pretty sight.

“Are you okay?” Iwaizumi pulled her up to a sitting position. 

“A few bruises here and there, but I think you just saved my life.” She said slowly, and smiled at him. “Um, I’m Isa. (Pronounced Ee-Sa.) I think I’m in your comp sci class.”

“You good up there?” Iwaizumi stood up, and prepared to yell out a response, but he caught Oikawa’s eye. Even if he did save Isa from a concussion, he drew attention to himself, the very act he had so desperately trying to avoid.

“Iwa-chan?” All the static noise and voices in his head dissipated. For a moment, it felt like it was just Iwaizumi and Oikawa. Just the two of them, like when they were younger. His throat was dry again, and he couldn’t look away from Oikawa. He felt a magnetic pull to Oikawa, like Oikawa was the sun and Iwaizumi was just a lone planet, orbiting it.

Every instinct in him told him to run. It told him that if he stayed, he would only get hurt again, just like before.

Iwaizumi ached for Oikawa, to hold him in his arms again.

Iwaizumi continued to stare into Oikawa’s eyes. For someone he knew so well, he couldn’t tell what Oikawa was thinking. He’s tried so hard and so long to not see the scene from the night of the party. But, looking into Oikawa’s eyes, he sees it. He wants to throw up.

He heard Isa get up, and lightly tap him on his shoulder. That was all it took for Iwaizumi to snap out of his trance, and get the hell out of there. He mumbled an apology to Isa, and ran.

He had always been running since that night.

  
  
  
  
  


_“I’m a coward,”_ Iwaizumi thought, as he curled up into a ball on his bed. His roommate was at a party this night, so Iwaizumi had all the time in the world to think about what a complete idiot he was. 

Iwaizumi had never thought well of himself before. He had always contemplated his failures, thought about things he wished he could’ve said then, and all the things he’d done wrong. It was Oikawa to make him see himself in a different light. Time after time, Oikawa would bring a smile to his face when nobody else could.

Oikawa wasn’t here right now.

His mind drifted to that night. The night where it all went wrong.

~

“Iwa-chan, come on! It’s the last week before we go off to different Universities.” Oikawa begged him and threw his hand together. Iwaizumi snorted, and started to pump his legs on the swing.

“I hate parties. Aren’t they just places where people go to get drunk and laid?” Iwaizumi directly looked at Oikawa when he said this, and Oikawa looked scandalized.

“Hey! I have never taken advantage of drunk ladies before. I’m a gentleman.” Iwaizumi looked at Oikawa with a look, and Oikawa started giggling. “Iwa-chan, I’m being completely honest here. Cross my heart on that aliens exist.”

“Of course you would say that. Besides, don’t you have better stuff to do?” Iwaizumi rolled his eyes.

“Iwa-chan, please. It’ll be fun, promise. And besides, hanging out with you is better than anything else I could do.” Iwaizumi didn’t know whether to take Oikawa seriously or not whenever he said shit like that. But, he had already given in a long time ago. He couldn’t say no to Oikawa, as much as that irked him. And believe him, it irked him a lot.

“Fine, fine. But, I’m not getting drunk.” Iwaizumi sighed. Oikawa let out a yelp of joy, and swung off his swing. Iwaizumi smiled at him as he brushed off the wood chips from his pants and grinned at Iwaizumi. 

“Who said you can only have fun when you’re drunk?” Oikawa stretched, and picked up his bag. They had gone directly from school to the playground. “But, I was hoping to see a drunk and flustered Iwa. Guess I’ll save it for next time.”

As Oikawa was walking away, a blossom petal fell on his head, like fate. Iwaizumi was reminded instantly of the promise they had made. _Tonight.. I’ll tell him tonight._

~

Iwaizumi arrived at the party, feeling very out of place. Oikawa had given him an address and time, but he felt like everybody was in on something that Iwaizumi was not.

He scanned the room, looking for Oikawa. Led lights flashing neon red and green were set up in every room, and the music pounded in his ears. He felt like he was hallucinating as he walked towards the main room, as if he was on acid. Next time, no matter how much Oikawa begged, he was never coming to a teenage party again.

As he entered the room, he immediately saw Oikawa in the corner of the room, talking to a girl. No scratch that, there were two. Go figures. Oikawa glanced up, and caught Iwaizumi’s eye. He quickly excused himself, and strolled towards Iwaizumi.

“Iwa-chan! I’m glad you made it. I would’ve thought you’d chicken out.” Oikawa purred and Iwaizumi bristled.

“Are you calling me a coward? Coming from you, who couldn’t even watch the part where Godzilla decapitates someone?” Iwaizumi teased and Oikawa mockingly gasped. It was a low blow, but true.

“Iwa-chan’s so mean, and a liar! I did watch it.” Iwaizumi rolled his eyes. “Anyways, I’m going to get us a drink. No alcoholic beverages, I swear.” Oikawa backed away, and walked off. Iwaizumi watched him disappear in the swarm of people dancing. Out of all the people Oikawa could have talked to in this room, including girls that were wearing dresses down to their thighs, Oikawa talked to and hung out with Iwaizumi. Iwaizumi knew that he would never understand why. Iwaizumi was boring, compared to anybody. He was a nobody, as far as he was concerned. There was that little voice in the back of Iwaizumi’s head that told him, _you’re useless._

But, when Oikawa talked to him, he felt like he was the star of the show. Oikawa made him feel so happy, every word spoken to him. He would unknowingly count the days, the seconds, until Iwaizumi could talk to Oikawa again. He felt like Oikawa was the missing piece to his puzzle. Oh god, and the way Oikawa made him feel when he made Oikawa laugh at something dumb. The feeling was unrivaled. Iwaizumi was always on a high when he and Oikawa hung out. That’s why Iwaizumi needs to tell Oikawa. If he doesn’t, he knows he’ll lose him. Oikawa deserves better than Iwaizumi. 

“Iwa-chan! I’m back. I could hear your silent, yet desperate, cries to me while I was gone. It’s okay, I wouldn’t leave you alone.” Oikawa winked as he hands Iwaizumi a red plastic cup. Iwaizumi held the dubious liquid up to his nose, and sniffed it. It smelled like hawaiian punch, but if Oikawa really did spike it, he wouldn’t be able to tell.

“You wish.” Iwaizumi snorted, and took a hesitant sip of his drink. Mm. Punchy. “Did you get alcohol?”

“Aw, is Iwa-chan my mom?” Iwaizumi let that sink in before he took a step forward to Oikawa menacingly before Oikawa quickly said, “Joking, just joking! Yeah, it’s light beer.” They stood there for a few moments, both sipping their beverages.

“Oikawa, do you remember the promise we made when we were kids?” Oikawa was taken aback as he blinked rapidly at Iwaizumi.

“Of course I do, Iwa-chan,” Oikawa smiled sweetly at Iwaizumi, and it made his heart squeeze. “I thought you forgot it a long time ago! God, that was such a long time ago. Iwa-chan was so short back then.” 

Ignoring Oikawa’s obvious jab at his height, Iwaizumi said, “Listen, about the promise. I need to tell you someth-” Iwaizumi was cut off by a squealing girl and her friend teetering over to Oikawa, both of them very drunk and very giggly.

“Oikawa! Let’s go have fun!” The blonde one said, latching on to Oikawa’s arm. Iwaizumi couldn’t help but notice how her cleavage was falling out of her skin-tight, latex dress. Iwaizumi could see his reflection off of her black dress, even with the neon lights. Her brunette friend stood by her, still giggling, taking Oikawa’s other arm. Oikawa flashed smiles to both of them, apparently not minding that they looked like koalas grasping onto trees. He looked at Iwaizumi, mentally asking if he could go through his eyes. Iwaizumi gave a long eyeroll, sighed, and shooed him off with a carefree hand.

“Ladies,” Oikawa flashed that damn charming smile to them. “Shall we dance?” The girls loosened their hold on Oikawa, and instead linked their arms with his. Iwaizumi watched them walk off, with a bitter feeling in his stomach. He knew that Oikawa was a flirt, a bastard, and a ladies’ man. A rumbling feeling inside him insisted that it should’ve been Iwaizumi going to dance with him. But, Iwaizumi wasn’t any fun, and he doubted that anybody that danced with him would consider it a fun activity instead of torture. He also wasn’t a girl, and that was what made this so much harder.

_“It’s better this way,_ ” Iwaizumi thought, as he watched Oikawa disappear for the second time today. _“Oikawa would have more fun dancing with drunk and gorgeous girls than me. It’s as simple as that._ ” 

  
  
  


Even though Iwaizumi thought that, he couldn’t resist imagining what it would’ve been like if Iwaizumi went dancing with Oikawa.

  
  


Iwaizumi knew he would enjoy it.

  
  
  


Iwaizumi was a weak man after all.

  
  


Iwaizumi sighed. He’d been doing an awful lot of sighing since he arrived at this party. Another reason to never go to another party Oikawa invited him to ever again. Parties were overrated. Iwaizumi looked for an unoccupied seat, and spotted a stool in the corner of the room. Iwaizumi went to sit on it, hoping that nobody was using it before for.. stuff.

Looking at the disarray around him, he quickly grew bored. It’s more fun to be dancing like a lunatic than to watch people dance like lunatics. Not that Iwaizumi would ever have the self-confidence to dance by himself though. 

Sitting on this stool made Iwaizumi put in perspective just how alone he was. This party had to have hundreds of people in it, yet Iwaizumi was the only one alone, and the only one not having fun right now. Maybe he was cursed. Maybe he didn’t deserve to have fun. It would make sense, considering he broke his and Oikawa’s promise. 

The promise. Iwaizumi closed his eyes, leaned back against the wall, and revisited the memory, for what seemed like the hundredth time. The days of jovial days and cherry blossoms.

~

“Iwa-chan, I.. can’t…. Go on.” Oikawa panted, obviously out of breath. Even at age ten, Iwaizumi had always had more stamina than Oikawa. Oikawa collapsed on the grass, arms stretched out.

“You’re too dramatic.” Iwaizumi grumbled, but he shortly followed Oikawa on the grass. “We made it to the top of the hill, didn’t we? And this was your idea in the first place.”

“Iwa-chan’s so mean.” Oikawa pouted. “Least you could do is comfort me.” Iwaizumi doesn’t even have to look at Oikawa to know he’s crossing his arms and turning his head away from him.

“Don’t call me Iwa-chan,” Iwaizumi snapped, and turned on his side to face Oikawa. His back was faced towards Iwaizumi, just as he predicted. Iwaizumi lifted his body with one arm, and turned Oikawa onto his back. Angry tears were brimming on Oikawa’s eyelashes, and he glared angrily at Iwaizumi. “Sorry.”

“Hmph.” Oikawa huffed, but Iwaizumi could sense that Oikawa wasn’t mad anymore. Iwaizumi laid back down, and looked at the white clouds in the sky.

“That one looks like Godzilla.” Iwaizumi pointed out, with his pointer finger facing the cloud.

“Only you would think that,” Oikawa brought his arm outstretched towards the sky as well. 

“That one, to the left of Godzilla. It looks like the wrapper which my milk bread comes in.” Iwaizumi laughed, but he saw the resemblance.

“Only you would think that,” Iwaizumi repeated what Oikawa said with a smile.

“It’s true!” Oikawa frowned, but he quickly giggled as well. They both put down their arms, laying in silence. A cool breeze arrived, blowing bangs into eyes. As Iwaizumi continued to look at the clouds, he felt something land on his forehead. Confused, he picked the thing up. It was a cherry blossom petal, pink and delicate.

“Oikawa,” Iwaizumi said. “Look at this.” He showed the petal to Oikawa, and he widened his eyes.

“A sakura petal?” Oikawa got up, and looked behind the two boys. “Iwa-chan, look!” Iwaizumi got up as well, and looked behind him. Right in front of them was a big sakura tree, the petals flowing all around it. 

“We must’ve not noticed it when we got up the hill.” Iwaizumi said dumbfoundedly. How had they missed such a big and beautiful tree?

“Let’s go!” Oikawa grabbed Iwaizumi’s hand without warning, and raced towards the trunk of the tree. Iwaizumi didn’t scold him, too busy staring at the tree. 

Once they reached the base of the tree, Oikawa took both of Iwaizumi’s hands, and smiled. “Do you remember what our teacher said about the sakura tree?” Iwaizumi nodded and looked at Oikawa. “It resembles that life is beautiful, but short. The sakura tree is beautiful, but only lasts for a short time.”

“It makes people realize how precious the cycle of life and death is.” Iwaizumi finished, smiling.

“Right, Iwa-chan! Since we found this sakura tree, why don’t we make a promise? You know, since our lives are short.”

“Ok,” Iwaizumi cleared his throat, hands suddenly sweaty. Iwaizumi was only ten, but he could tell that this promise wasn’t going to be a silly one, the ones where they forget about it an hour after reciting it.

“I want to be friends forever, Iwaizumi.” Oikawa stared into Iwaizumi’s eyes. Iwaizumi heard the wind blow, as cherry blossom petals flew into Oikawa’s hair. Yet, Oikawa still kept his eyes on Iwaizumi, staring insistently. 

“Me too,” Iwaizumi smiled, and Oikawa lit up. Iwaizumi knew instantly that he could never imagine a day where he wouldn’t see those caramel eyes. He felt a light in his stomach, just looking at Oikawa. He feels happy, yet happy was too short of a word to describe the feeling,

Iwaizumi knows that this feeling is love.

He loves Oikawa.

~

Iwaizumi brushes a tear off of his cheek, shocked. Was he crying? He really was weak. Iwaizumi lets out a sigh he didn’t know he was holding. He needs to tell Oikawa the truth. He needs to tell him that he loves him, for a long time now, before it’s too late and they go off to different universities. He needs to tell him that he can’t keep their promise of being friends forever. Iwaizumi wants to be so much more than that.

Iwaizumi gets off of the stool with a hiss. Sitting there for what must’ve been a good thirty minutes doesn’t do wonders for your pelvis. He stands there for a moment, then begins to cautiously walk through the crowd, looking for Oikawa. He wonders what he’ll see Oikawa doing once he reaches him. Still dancing with the girls? Guzzling alcohol like he’s dependent on it? Either way, it won’t be easy trying to get him alone and talk to him.

When he reaches the dance floor, he spots the girls that stole Oikawa, dancing with another guy. Mustering up his courage, he walked over to the girls, and tapped the blonde one on her shoulder. “Hey, do you know where my friend Oikawa is? He was dancing with you.” The blonde giggles and jostles her brunette friend with her shoulder.

“The really cute one, with the brown hair?” She slurs, and Iwaizumi can smell the alcohol on her breath as clear as smelling chlorine from a pool.

“Sure,” Iwaizumi says, getting more and more uncomfortable standing on the dance floor, the only one not dancing.

“Last time I saw him was in that corner over there, next to the pool table.” She hiccups, and then laughs.

“Thanks,” Iwaizumi mutters, as he makes his way through the crowd to the corner. While Iwaizumi was walking, he wondered what he was going to say. It’s not like he planned this beforehand, even though he knew he was going to do it tonight. _Hey, I’ve been in love with you since we were ten_ , or, _You know that promise we made? Yeah, that was when I knew I was in love with you._

Luckily, Iwaizumi didn’t have to find out what he was going to say to Oikawa. Sure enough, Oikawa was there. What he didn’t expect was to find a girl on his lap, completely engrossed in his face, specifically in his lips. Oikawa had his eyes closed and hadn’t yet noticed Iwaizumi. 

Iwaizumi felt his heart sink to his feet. After all the bravery he managed to gather, he just couldn’t do it. He’d known Oikawa was a playboy and a bastard. He couldn’t. Forcing his feelings on someone who obviously wasn’t interested in him was too damn selfish. It was fine, Oikawa would never know this had happened, and Iwaizumi would still remain friends with Oikawa. 

He could see it. Him being best man to Oikawa with his bride. Oikawa would look so handsome in a suit, and his bride would look beautiful in a white, poofy dress. When they received vows, they would cry and then have a long, drawn out kiss. The wedding would be perfect. He’d make peace with it eventually with enough time.

  
  
  
  


So why did Iwaizumi feel like his heart was shattered into a million pieces?

  
  


He had walked away slowly from the spectacle, grabbing his coat, and walking home by himself. It wasn’t until he reached his room that he allowed himself to have a moment of weakness and cry. 

~

The next morning, he awoke to a bunch of angry text from Oikawa, varying from, “Iwa-chan’s so mean to leave me alone in a room of drunk people!” to, “Iwa-channnnnnn mean~,” Iwaizumi left them all on read, and stayed on his bed. He wasn’t in the mood to talk to Oikawa. He needed time to collect his feelings.

Unfortunately, Oikawa had always been a pest.

Ten minutes after he’d left Oikawa’s messages on read, he heard someone viciously ringing his doorbell. Groaning, he rolled on his stomach, and used his pillow to block out the noise. Luckily, Iwaizumi’s parents were out on a trip around the world, and wouldn’t be back until the next year. This was normal for his parents, considering their jobs. They often travelled in areas that didn’t have cell-service, but they sent souvenirs and postcards every time they visited someplace new. They had lamented about not being able to send Iwaizumi off for university for the first time, but Iwaizumi had told them it wasn’t a big deal.

Iwaizumi considered going downstairs and telling Oikawa to fuck off, but that would mean he would have to look at Oikawa. All he would see would be that girl still on him. He can’t handle it. All he sees when he closes his eyes is Oikawa and that girl. 

He wants to gouge it out of his eyes.

After Oikawa ranged the doorbell for a good five minutes, the noise stopped. Iwaizumi peeked out of his window, his curtains were closed, and saw Oikawa stomping on the sidewalk, walking home in a rage. The sight made Iwaizumi smile slightly, but it soon evaporated when Oikawa took out his phone. Iwaizumi’s phone rang, and he retreated from the window. He waited out the phone call, and when Oikawa hung up, he assumed that he was texting Iwaizumi in a flurry. He wouldn’t know, he turned off his notifications a long time ago. 

~

The doorbell rang again. Iwaizumi growled, and got out of bed. It had been an hour since Oikawa left his house, and he was not up for ringing doorbells every hour. He stomped down his stairs and prepared to strangle Oikawa. Even though he was not up to seeing Oikawa so soon, he had to put him in his place. _Just open the door, yell at Oikawa to go away, and slam the door shut._ Hearing his plan in his head, Iwaizumi had low hopes for the plan to succeed. But, it was the only plan he had in mind for his current mental state.

Iwaizumi pulled the door open, prepared to tell Oikawa he wasn’t in the mood. Fortunately, he looked at who was in front of his door before he started shouting.

“Hey, Iwa.” Elly smiled at him, arms crossed and leaning against the door frame. He, Oikawa, and Elly, Oikawa’s sister, were close friends when they were younger. Elly then moved to California for a volleyball based boarding school. They had kept in touch, but it wasn’t the same. She came over from America this summer, complaining that she missed her boys. However, seeing Elly comforted him, and he was very glad it wasn’t Oikawa.

“Don’t call me that,” Iwaizumi grumbled as he pulled her in, and shut the door. She took off her shoes, and proceeded to follow Iwaizumi.

“How are you feeling?” Elly didn’t wait for Iwaizumi to respond by saying, “I am doing horrible, thanks for asking. This morning, Oikawa barged into my room screaming his head off that he thinks you’re dead. Woke me up from my very peaceful dream about my girlfriend.”

“Once a drama queen, always one.” Iwaizumi snorted, as they walked into his family room. Elly sat on one of the chairs across from each other, and Iwaizumi sat on the opposite one. Iwaizumi then poured some already prepared tea in the cups already set.

“Amen, brother.” Elly giggled, as she took a cup. “So.”

“So.” Iwaizumi repeated, and took a sip of his tea.

“Mind telling me why my brother thought you were dead? Oikawa gets on everybody’s nerves, but it’s unlike you to not respond to any texts or calls. Usually, you’d tell him to piss off. Believe me, me and Oikawa have both been on that receiving end from you.” Elly rolled her eyes mockingly, and smiled at Iwaizumi.

“You can’t tell Oikawa.” Iwaizumi said slowly, looking straight into Elly’s eyes to make sure she understood. She immediately nodded, and placed down her tea. He doesn’t know why he feels so safe with Elly, why he thinks that he can share his traumas with her. Must be the tea. Maybe she drugged it. Who knows.

“Whatever is said here stays here. You were with me during the toughest time of my life when I was preparing to come out to my family. I’m here for you.” Iwaizumi smiles at her, grateful that someone is here to listen to him. Even though Elly was younger than Iwaizumi and Oikawa by three years, she had a presence like an older sister.

“I.. I’m in love with Oikawa.” Iwaizumi’s face burned as he said that, and he buried his face in his hands. Elly sat with him in silence before she broke it.

“Was that supposed to be a revelation?” Elly teased, and Iwaizumi looked up at her in shock. “Don’t give me that look! Look, I’ve known you and Oikawa my entire life. You really think I wouldn’t know that you had a crush on him?”

“How long?” Iwaizumi whispered, his face turning more red if that was possible.

“Mm, since I moved away?” Elly placed a finger on her chin as she furrowed her brows. “No, a year before that. Maybe. So what’s your issue here?”

Iwaizumi’s face stopped burning, and he looked at his hands. “He doesn’t love _me_.”

The tone of the room shifted, as Elly sighed. “Yeah, that does seem to be the problem in all cases doesn’t it?”

“He took me to a party last night.” Iwaizumi continued, still looking downward. His voice was barely above a whisper. “I was going to tell him that I liked him, yesterday. But..” Iwaizumi’s voice broke. Even talking to Elly, he still saw the scene. He grimaced, and clenched his hands.

“Hey, hey. I’m sorry.” Elly’s voice came out soothing. “I get it. Oikawa can be a dickhead sometimes. But, if you don’t tell him, you’ll never know.”

“I saw him making out with a girl!” Iwaizumi’s voice came out agitated and made Elly flinch. “If that isn’t a sign, then I don’t know what is.” Tears dripped down his face.

“I know, I’m sorry babe.” Elly reached out to take Iwaizumi’s hands which were white from clenching his hands. “I’m so sorry. It’s hard, being in a one-sided love. Take it from the girl who was in the closet until recently. From my expertise, I think you need time. It’s.. going to be okay, even if you don’t believe it right now. You need time to process your emotions more than Oikawa needs you.” Iwaizumi nods, and takes a quivering breath.

“I’m so weak, aren’t I?” Iwaizumi says softly. 

“No.” Elly says fiercely. “You are not weak. I’ll tell you what you are though. You are tough and hard as rocks. And you will make it through this period. You know why? Because every time I saw you play on the court, you never gave up. When playing against Karasuno, you never faltered. You were the strong and powerful ace your team needed you to be. And that’s why Oikawa set to you, the reason that everybody trusted you. You were always strong.”

~

_Back to present day…_

Iwaizumi shakes his head, and frowns. Even after three months, it’s still painful. He took Elly’s advice and didn’t return any of Oikawa’s endless calls or messages. But, one day, they all just stopped. Iwaizumi didn’t know if he was relieved or hurt. He knew Oikawa would feel bad that Iwaizumi hadn’t returned any of his calls. Iwaizumi just couldn’t bring himself to do it. 

_God.. he’s still so weak.._

Iwaizumi slowly banged his head against the wall, sighing. He had avoided Oikawa just for this stupid volleyball match to get in his way. What are the fucking chances of that? The once blossoming love he had for volleyball wilted and turned into dust. He couldn’t touch a single volleyball without thinking of Oikawa. He wished his love for Oikawa would wilt. That would make things so much easier.

Well, since Iwaizumi arrived at his dorm early, he might as well do homework. He reaches over his bedside to feel the comfortable presence of his backpack.. Only he feels empty air. Well, shit, that isn’t good. 

_Fuck…._ Iwaizumi didn’t take his backpack when he saved Isa from the flying volleyball. He really doesn’t want to go back to Gym C, especially with the risk of being seen by Oikawa _again._ But, if he doesn’t do his homework, his teachers are going to be pissed, and his very expensive laptop is in there. Plus, he might be able to sneak by Oikawa if he’s too absorbed in the game. It’s only been around two hours since Iwaizumi left. The teams were probably still in a match.

So, Iwaizumi formulates a plan. It goes something like this:

  1. Enter through back doors and run up stairs to bleachers.
  2. Crouch down, and successfully grab backpack in the back of the bleachers.
  3. Run. Run. Run.



  
  


It seems like a good plan at first glance, but Iwaizumi’s luck has always been shitty. Hopefully, this will be the one-in-a-thousand chance that it’ll work. Probably not, but one could only wish.

~

Iwaizumi arrived at the gym from running, and is very out of breath. Swallowing the cold fall air makes his lungs freeze. Well, getting here was the relatively easy part. Getting out will be much more difficult.

Iwaizumi opens the double doors that are located at the back of the building, and goes in. Iwaizumi is immediately rushed with warm air, and he shivers from it. He goes up the conveniently located stairs to the right of him and goes up it.

Once he reaches the hallway leading to the bleachers, he freezes. Sitting in the doorway to the bleachers is none other than Oikawa. Oikawa, whose eyelids are half-closed. And he’s clutching Iwaizumi’s backpack. The Universe must really hate Iwaizumi for putting him in this position. He coughs softly seeing that that’s his only option here, and Oikawa’s eyelids flutter open.

“Hi, Iwa-chan,” Oikawa says softly, and smiled. “It’s been a while.” Iwaizumi doesn’t know whether to cry, run away, or freeze. He doesn’t do any of those three options which is good for him, but it would’ve been a lot easier to run away again.

“How long have you been waiting?” Iwaizumi’s voice came out hoarse.

“You’re going to have to be more specific, Iwa-chan.” Oikawa smiled, but his eyes grew hard. Iwaizumi feels a pang of guilt in his stomach. “Do you mean me waiting for you to return my calls and messages or me waiting for you to come get your backpack? If you mean the latter, about an hour or so. Our practice match was cut short from the stray volleyball.”

“I’m sorry.” Iwaizumi can’t look at Oikawa. He’s so weak. He doesn’t want to just say he’s sorry. Even in a time like this, he still thinks Oikawa is as beautiful as the moon, stars, and sun. What a fucking weirdo Iwaizumi is. Maybe he’s just a glutton for pain.

“What I don’t get, is why?” Iwaizumi can hear that Oikawa’s on the brink of crying. Oikawa must’ve been preparing this speech for a long time. Iwaizumi can hear Oikawa standing up and walking a few steps towards Iwaizumi. Iwaizumi’s head is still turned to the side, bracing for an attack. “I’ve been playing this situation over and over ever since you started ignoring me, but for the love of god, I don’t know why this whole thing started! Did I do something to piss you off so much that you wouldn’t respond to any of my calls or texts? What did I do, Iwaizumi?” Oikawa’s shouting right now and fury bundles up in Iwaizumi’s stomach.

“Nothing!” Iwaizumi roars, and he clutches his hair. This time, he looks directly at Oikawa. “You did nothing wrong!”

“I’m not dumb, Hajime.” Oikawa’s soft voice is a big change from his yelling. “I know I must’ve done something wrong. What? What did I do? What did I do to make you hate me so much?” Oikawa sinks down on his knees, and before Iwaizumi knows what he’s doing, he rushes over to Oikawa and embraces him in a tight hug.

“I don’t hate you, Oikawa.” Iwaizumi says forcefully. 

“Then why? I stayed up so many nights, crying, wondering why. And when Elly came back from your house, she wouldn’t tell me anything. Do you know how shitty I felt? How alone I felt? How much.. I just wanted my best friend back?” Oikawa is crying by the end of his last sentence, and Iwaizumi just hugs him tighter.

“I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. This is all my fault.” Iwaizumi is crying too, but he forces himself to tell Oikawa. It’s the least he can do, to make up for all the pain he’s caused Oikawa. “The night of the party, I was going to tell you that I couldn’t keep our promise.” Oikawa’s sobs stills as he takes in Iwaizumi’s words.

“The one we made when we were ten?” Oikawa says, head buried in Iwaizumi’s shoulder.

“Yeah, that one.” Iwaizumi smiles through his tears; it never fails to make him smile when he hears Oikawa still remembers the promise. 

“Why?” Oikawa questions, and Iwaizumi’s heart skips a beat. This was it. The words he couldn’t say to Oikawa on the night of the party. Maybe if Iwaizumi had said these words sooner, this mess wouldn’t have happened.

“I’m in love with you, Tooru.” Iwaizumi says softly, and he feels Oikawa stiffen. “I have been, since we were ten. I can’t keep our promise because I didn’t want to be just friends. I wanted to be your boyfriend.” Oikawa starts crying again, but this time it was more of a soft weep than anything. 

“It’s okay if you don’t know what to say. It’s okay if you don’t love me back. But, I was going to tell you that I loved you.” 

“Why didn’t you?” Oikawa’s voice isn’t broken, like Iwaizumi thought it would be. It isn’t filled with disgust. If anything, it was hopeful. Like a butterfly soaring through the air.

“I looked for you the night of the party after those two girls took you dancing. When I found you, you were making out with a girl.” Iwaizumi says bluntly. He can feel Oikawa freeze up again. “I couldn’t bring myself to tell you the truth. I was so weak, and I’m so sorry.”

“You’re weak?” Oikawa says incredulously, and he pushes Iwaizumi out of the tight hug gently. “This was my fault from the beginning. I was drunk, and stupid..” Iwaizumi looks at Oikawa dumbfoundedly. This was not going in the way Iwaizumi expected it to go.

“Are you even hearing me right now?” Iwaizumi says, still shocked. “I was the one who was too much of a coward to say that I loved you. I’m the whole reason we got into this mess! I’m the one who made you hate me!” They sat in silence, both taking in the other person’s words.

“I could never hate Iwa-chan,” Oikawa admits, grabbing one of Iwaizumi’s hands. “I love you too much for that. And, the reason I made out with that girl was because.. I couldn’t have you. I didn’t want to risk our friendship just because I was in love with you.”

“You.. love me?” Iwaizumi says softly, looking into Oikawa’s eyes. Those carmel eyes which sparked Iwaizumi’s poem. He was glad to see it again.

“Yes!” Oikawa shouts, tears flowing down his cheeks at a rapid pace. “For my whole life! I love you so much Hajime. Whenever we were on the court, I would always stare at you, wondering what it would be like to call you mine. Screw the promise we made when we were ten! I said that because I wanted you to stay with me forever, and I couldn’t come up with any other good enough reason. I knew I was so selfish, but I still said it because I-” Iwaizumi can’t listen to this ramble anymore. Grabbing the back of Oikawa’s neck and his head, he kisses him. How many times did he imagine kissing Oikawa? The taste of him?

  
  


For your information, he tasted like milk bread and sea salt.

  
  
  
  


When they broke off from the kiss, Oikawa placed his head on Iwaizumi’s chest. “Promise me you’ll never leave me.” There’s still fresh tears on his cheeks and Iwaizumi fondly wipes them away.

“Never,” Iwaizumi said fiercely, and hugged Oikawa as tight as he could. “Never again.” They stayed like this for a very long time, the whole prospect of doing homework out the window.

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


Epilogue:

After Iwaizumi confessed to Oikawa, Oikawa learned that Iwaizumi had hated himself for a long time. That made Oikawa infuriated, telling him to love himself because Oikawa did.

Needless to say, they both blushed. And to his word, Iwaizumi tried. Instead of making self-deprecating insults, he learned to love himself. One bit at a time. And he had Oikawa to thank for it.

They had a lot to catch up on, from university struggles, to Oikawa’s volleyball team. Elly, who had been the middleman this entire time, gave a “I-knew-it” smile to Iwaizumi when she found out that they had started dating.

_“See, Iwaizumi? I told you you just needed time!”_

_“No offense Elly, but your advice was utter shit.”_

When they finished university, they visited the same cherry blossom tree they had made their very first promise.

Oikawa and Iwaizumi made a new one: To love each other for the rest of their lives and the life after that.

When Oikawa had died first in the hospital room, Iwaizumi saw a large swarm of cherry blossom petals enter the room, even though there wasn’t a bloomed cherry blossom tree in sight. Maybe it was Iwaizumi’s old age, but he still claimed it nevertheless. He knew it was a sign from Oikawa, that he would wait as patiently as he could for Iwaizumi. Iwaizumi smiled at that: Tooru Oikawa was not a very patient man.

Iwaizumi requested that he be buried underneath the very same cherry blossom tree they had referred to so many times, and that when the tree died, it would be replaced by a new one. The mayor couldn’t object: After all, Oikawa was the former setter of the Argentina team, and Iwaizumi was president of Blos Inc, a very influential and large company. 

And when Iwaizumi died, he was buried underneath the tree too. 

Oikawa and Iwaizumi spent the rest of their lives in the afterlife, never leaving one another. They had made a promise after all. Sworn on the day of clear skies and cherry blossoms.

Written By Iwaizumi Hajime

20??/3/28

**Write about a strong emotion**

_When I close my eyes, I see those caramel eyes_

_And days that have long gone by._

_Oh, how I recall those sweetened times_

_With those deep blue skies._

_I long to see the bloomed flowers_

_That I know are waiting for us._

_I love those gleaming eyes,_

_It calls for me with a sweet song._

_My heart skips a beat when I see you,_

_That I can’t believe I can call you mine._

_Your lovely smile,_

_Makes me want to cry tears of joy._

_Whenever you talk,_

_It is like Angels have orchestrated it._

_And when we grow old together,_

_We will see those days that have long gone by._

_Hello, lover mine._

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  



End file.
